A few weeks ago, I explained the differences between worry, anxiety and stress. While they overlap in some ways, they are all different. I think understanding the differences helps people to cope with these concepts. I think it is very much the same for emotions. When we are overwhelmed with our emotions, often it can be hard to understand what we are thinking. During these times, it is worthwhile to step back and try to analyze what emotions we are experiencing, whether they are good or bad.
It is helpful to think of emotions as being comfortable and uncomfortable. If you search online, there are many websites that are covering this concept in detail. There are diagrams such as emotional wheels which cover these emotions in detail. Comfortable emotions may be labeled as Happy, Loved, Confident and Playful. Within these labels are sub-labels. For example, Loved has the sub-labels of Respected, Valued and Accepted. The uncomfortable emotions may be labeled as Sad, Scared, Angry and Embarrassed. With the Scared sub-label included emotions such as Anxious, Powerless and Overwhelmed.
When we have a good understanding of our emotions, there is a lot we can do to help us deal with them. One thing we can do is keep an emotional diary. Jot down how you are feeling, especially once you have a good understanding of what you are feeling. You can track how these feelings change over time and if there is anything that triggers them in particular.
I have been taught one good exercise in taking charge of your emotions.
Step 1. You write down what you are feeling; your uncomfortable and unwanted emotion.
Step 2. Cross it out with a red pen.
Step 3. Write what you want to feel next to it.
It is a very simple exercise, but you need to make your emotion feel the pain. I was told that you need to hear your uncomfortable emotion scream when you cross them out and make them bleed with the red ink.
It all sounds very dramatic, but I think it worked for me. It definitely made me aware of what I was feeling and it helped me take actions toward feeling the way I wanted to.
Give it a try and let me know how it works for you.
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