The first time that I experienced the loss of a loved one I was quite young. It was my grandfather, or Pop, as I called him. I was in my twenties, and he was in his early 70s. He was young compared to his wife, my grandmother, or Nanna, as she lived for another 20 years after he passed. I was very sad at the time, and I was also living abroad, too far away to grieve with my family.
I think there are many people out there thinking about loved ones that have passed during the Christmas season. I wonder how you are remembering them, and what strategies help you to keep their memories close to your heart.
For me, all those years ago, when my Pop passed, I set up an email address in his name. I often sent emails to him. Unread email after unread email. But I kept on sending them, thinking that maybe one day I would get a reply. Just sending them was good enough, and I felt that he was always watching over me and giving me strength to get through any problem. He grew up in the Great Depression, so if anybody could give me strength, it would have to be him.
I have told some people about my method of staying in touch with my Pop thinking that it was something unique, but I was surprised to hear that other people do it as well. It may seem like one step away from talking to yourself, but it is also a good way of journaling and remembering all of the qualities that you loved about the person who has passed.
Another thing that I do is think about how I could be more like the people who have passed. I would think about how they impressed me and how I could impress others if I held the same qualities. My Pop was a quiet and gentle person with a dry sense of humour and a charming smile that drew people to him. If I could adopt some of these qualities, then maybe a bit of him could exist in me.
I also think about how I impressed my Pop, and about the qualities of mine that he particularly loved. I make sure that those qualities never change, and I remain the same person that he loved.
I know it is a bit early, but I wish you a Merry Christmas to your family who are with you physically and also in spirit.
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