Talking to people about my fears, weaknesses or secrets is like Superman giving Lex Luthor a boulder or kryptonite. If you didn’t get the Superman reference, it basically on the surface sounds like the wrong thing to do and could expose all of your flaws. I guess it is in many circumstances, but it can have a very positive effect in other circumstances.
The topic I am talking about is ‘vulnerability’, I think that most people only really want to be vulnerable with people they trust, and rightly so. but many people choose not to be vulnerable at all. But there are ways to ease into it with not giving away too much.
So let’s start with a definition of vulnerability. According to the Oxford dictionary, it is defined as, the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally. It sounds like discussing your vulnerabilities to anyone sounds like the wrong thing to do from this definition, but this isn’t necessarily so.
Being vulnerable in relationships, whether they be romantic or plutonic, can help the relationship to deepen. In my experience, it could also overwhelm some people if done too much, or often, so it should be done in moderation. There are some ways to take it slow and make the experience a mutual one without giving too much or your weaknesses away. The idea is to develop a deeper sense of mutual trust and eventually empowerment.
A good way to start is by discussing fears. You may have a good discussion about your fears and find out that your friend or partner may have similar fears; this may create a new bond. You may also find that your friend/partner may have overcome these fears, and this could help you to do the same.
Let’s say, for example, you run every Saturday at the local park run: a five-kilometre running event; you talk to your friend about how you get tired and end up walking the last one kilometre. Your friend may say that they had the same problem, so they trained for six kilometres during the week, and this made the five-kilometre run seem short and easy to run the whole way.
This kind of discussion may seem small and insignificant, but it is a start to opening up and sharing. Sharing your fears, weaknesses and other vulnerabilities could become a great habit that could lead to a stronger and better you for the new year.
If you would like to start practicing this new habit, feel free to share with me. The first session is free.
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