Being greedy, only thinking of yourself, not letting other people get want they want are what many people think of as being selfish. The concept of being selfish is viewed negatively in most cultures, but I think we need to look at it in a different way.
We have many people that are close to us, family, loved ones and friends. We care about them deeply, but we cannot control them. We might be able to tell our son or daughter what to do, but we can’t do it for them. The only person we are really in control of is ourselves, even though it is normally done involuntarily, we are breathing for ourselves, beating our own heart, making decisions for the food we eat and the amount of exercise we do.
Just like the serenity prayer says, God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. The one thing that we can change is ourselves. Therefore, we need to be selfish, but in a positive way.
In my case, I do this blog every week for myself first, and for my readers second. I would feel very disappointed in myself if I couldn’t fulfil my commitment to blogging weekly, no matter whether other people are reading it or not.
In my eyes, life is short, so I think we should do our best to spend some of our short life helping others by using our life knowledge and experience so that they can have a better life.
Being selfish doesn’t mean that you are not putting others first, you can still do that. But it does mean that you are taking an active role in ensuring that you have a strong sense of self-esteem and self-love, which can easily help you to become compassionate towards others.
I guess you could compare it to the inflight safety instructions of airlines. They always advise us to put on our oxygen masks before helping others. If we are gasping for air, we won’t be able to help other people in a calm manner. We also won’t be able to help other people with their problems, or to increase their self-esteem if we have low self-esteem ourselves.
So don’t worry about being selfish, just as long as you are helping and not hurting others.
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