Back during Christmas, I did a couple of blog posts based on loneliness, ‘How we can get trapped into loneliness’ and ‘Are you lonesome tonight?’ as it seemed to be an issue that has been increasing due to many factors, including the pandemic. However, recently I have found that it is not only due to the current situation.
Many people seem to want to enter relationships when they are not ready. They also may feel that even if they are in relationships or amongst a group of friends, they are still lonely. These people also don’t know what to do when they have feelings of loneliness and may engage in substance abuse rather than seek help from professionals or people they trust. There could be many reasons why this is occurring and today I would like to go over one of these reasons.
The issue of loneliness has a deeper root cause and this can be due to how we built our relationships when we were young. It has a direct correlation with something that comes close to the heart of many people. It is called ‘Attachment theory’. Maybe you are not familiar with this term, but you do understand how close you were to your parents or the experience you had growing up.
Attachment theory is the degree of normal, social and emotional development of children with their caregivers. There are a number of different attachment styles depending on what you read; firstly, there is one secure attachment style and then there are the insecure attachment styles, of which can be up to three, depending on what you read.
Today I will firstly focus on the secure attachment style. This is where children are comforted when present with their caregiver and they feel a sense of protection. This translates to their confidence in the ability to explore their environment with their parent present. Children that have been lucky enough to have been brought up in this environment benefit as adults.They have longer lasting, and trusting relationships, strong self-esteem, and are able to reach out to people when they are in need.
There are many people that don’t identify with secure attachment and this is affecting their relationships as adults. I will go into what we can do to change that as adults to improve our relationship, particularly with ourselves, to reduce loneliness. Watch this space.
storysolutionstherapy@gmail.com
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What Is Secure Attachment and How Does It Develop?
https://www.talkspace.com/blog/parenting-secure-attachment-what-is/
Different types of Attachment styles
https://www.verywellmind.com/attachment-styles-2795344
What is attachement theory
https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-attachment-theory-2795337
