Your emotions are not in charge of YOU, YOU are in charge of your emotions. These are very wise words that were spoken to me at a time when I was feeling a bit down. This person was a stranger and sensed that I was in distress and helped me out by cheering me up. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being depressed, and 1 being really happy, I was about a 7, and the kind person brought me back to about a 3. I guess that is where I am most comfortable.
This is a time when I realized many people, including myself, suffer from the ‘cognitive distortion named ‘Emotional Reasoning’. This is where we believe that our emotions are the truth and rule over any kind of rational thought that we may have. It can get serious and it is what can lead to an inner voice inside your head telling you how to feel and act in different circumstances with people suffering chronic anxiety, sadness or guilt.
It is important to keep your feelings in perspective and to understand whether or not you are being rational in your thoughts. There are many ways to overcome emotional reasoning, but the advice given to me worked and I will share it with you. It is quite simple. You need to set boundaries. You need to tell yourself that you are in control and are not willing to put up with excessive anxiety or fear over something that does not warrant it.
If you are not doing well in school or in a relationship, you need to let yourself know that this will improve and not allow your emotions to tell you it is a lost cause. Use your life values. If family is important to you, and you consider it to be a life value, believe that you will improve in school or make your relationship stronger, to make your family happy and proud. This will motivate you to overcome your emotions.
It is always important to talk to someone like some kind person talked to me to discuss emotional reasoning. Speak to someone close, your friends, family, and of course I am also available. The first session is free.
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Emotional Reasoning and Psychopathology
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8068126/
