Are you conscious of your health? Do you want to eat the right things or just avoid really bad foods? Do you ever pick up a food item and check out where it is made, what ingredients are contained in the produce, or simply whether or not it contains a high amount of sugar? Of course, you do.
What about labels that you attach to yourself? I think that many people have decided what kind of people they are by a couple of instances of bad luck, an addiction to a bad habit, or by something someone has told us. This may cause us to label ourselves as being a failure, a loser, or irresponsible. We may also be guilty of doing the same to other people that we work with or are friends with.
Early on in my blog I mentioned the theory of ‘externalizing’ in ‘narrative therapy’. ‘Externalizing can help in this case. It is a way to separate ourselves from our problems, or in this case what we call ‘labels’. If, for example, we failed at something, like a driving test. We may believe that we are failures and this becomes ingrained into our personality. If we simply change the language, we can minimize the problem and give ourselves a chance to overcome it.
Instead of saying “I failed my driver’s test, I am a failure. Soon I will fail in my relationships and my life in general. I have no future”. “The failure that I experienced is understandable. The feeling of disappointment I have is valid, but it is a tough test. What do I need to pass it now? I need to learn from my mistakes and do even better next time. “
Using phrases like ‘the failure’ and ‘the feeling of disappointment’ helps us to treat problems as an object, external from oneself, and separate them from what we believe is part of our internal self that cannot be changed.
It takes a bit of practice, but it is worthwhile trying it out for yourself. If you need to talk about any problems that are controlling your life, feel free to contact me. The first session is free.
storysolutionstherapy@gmail.com
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Labelling
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/306302703_Cognitive_Distortions_Humor_Styles_and_Depression
Externalising
https://dulwichcentre.com.au/courses/what-is-narrative-practice-a-free-course/lessons/externalising/
